Helping Your Teen Adjust to You Dating After Divorce

 
Parenting a teenager is difficult enough without having to go through the whole divorce process. One of the challenges divorced parents face is introducing a new relationship with their child after a divorce. Dating after divorce may be a bittersweet time for you because there are a lot of things to consider, and if you have children, you tend to be a lot more careful.

Teens find it harder to adjust to a potential stepparent compared with younger children. Here are a few suggestions to help you deal with your teenager as you start dating after divorce.

1. Don't introduce every single date with your teenager - Getting back into the dating scene may be exciting for you, but it's scary for your teen. Not every person you date will end up sharing a meaningfulrelationship with you, so it's better that you be selective who you introduce to your child. From your teen's point of view, seeing you introduce many different casual dates increases his/her insecurity and makes him/her more suspicious of everyrelationship you enter into.

2. Plan the initial introduction well - First impressions do last, and at times the way parents introduce their children to their dates leave a bad taste in their teen's mouths. The thing is, teens can hold a grudge a long time, which means that when you remarry, your teen may have a harder time to adjust to this. It's advisable that you don't bring the other person's children during the first time you introduce your date to your teen. Go somewhere your teen feels comfortable and secure in. Talk to your child and your date in advance and suggest potential conversation topics to avoid awkward silences. Having a great first meeting will go a long way in helping your teen form a betterrelationship with your potential future partner.

3. Don't rush your child - You may be ready to date, but your child may not be emotionally prepared for it. Don't push your child to react to it the way you want him/her to. Give your child space and allow him/her to develop arelationship with the new person at his/her own pace.

4. Don't be in a hurry to introduce your date's children - At times teens have a harder time adjusting to future stepsiblings than future stepparents. You can expect that teenagers are very sensitive about the thought that their space will be invaded by other children. It's important that you show your teen you understand and respect this so that he/she will feel safer and be more open to interact with future step siblings.

5. Talk to your teen about this - Ask your teen how he/she feels about the whole situation. Talk regularly without putting pressure on your teen about the relationship. Life after divorce could be tough for both of you, but if you open the lines of communication and reinforce a feeling of security in your child, you can both pull through it with less bumps and bruises along the way.